Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
