saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I need a burrito and a hug.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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