don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
