We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
