I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
