Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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