I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
