Sry I called you an 8
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
