think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
