I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
