I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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