so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
