Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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