Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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