He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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