What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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