I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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