Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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