The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
