Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it's great music for shaving your balls
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
