Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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