I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
