Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
