Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
