his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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