I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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