I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just tell him i said nine months
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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