Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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