Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
