There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize