This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
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Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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