I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize