Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
