i wish starbucks made bloody marys
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
