Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I wanna passion pit in your ass
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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