that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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