ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
