Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
