Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
