Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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