we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
