I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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