He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
accomplished twins. life is a go
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
