I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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