I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
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