Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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