More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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