Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize