I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
