I accidentally burped into my bong.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
