Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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