the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
