I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
