I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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