Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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