woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
