he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
