I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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