Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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