Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
