whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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