I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
